Where The Heart Is....

It all started with a former student's Facebook Status :


"If you want to know where your heart is look where your mind goes when it wanders."
~Henri-Frédéric Amiel~


For some reason this quote really hit me square in the face as I was lazily browsing through my Facebook feed this morning ... Because my heart has been aching, and my mind has definitely been wandering....


It is no secret that I have been somewhat "homesick" recently. And although I have been living and enjoying (let me make it clear, I like the US) life here States side, my heart still long for my native land, and very much so at the moment. Blame it on the fact that it's been nearly 4 years since I got to truly spend time with family and friends over there and won't be able to afford a trip back any time soon. Blame it on the fact that Twitter, Facebook and other Social Media Venues have re-connected me with my "former life" and "former friends" (do true friends actually ever stop being your friend?), or the fact that these venues have brought into my life new friends (see my last post on "Don't talk to Strangers") whom I like to call my "European Connections." Or blame it on the fact that my newly acquired duties as assistant soccer coach for our High School Girls Team, have brought back to me a certain joy (long forgotten or maybe ignored) and a flood of memories and experiences that I thought were part of my past, and would not matter in the future... 


Whatever the reasons.... I am "homesick"...


I miss Belgium... I miss the streets, the architecture, the public transports (on strike every other week but still...) 
I miss French Fries with mayonnaise (yes that's how it's done) at 2 o'clock in the morning...
I dream of a bottle of Jupiler while watching Standard de Liège play football (and yes, it IS football, and not soccer... you use your feet, and use a ball... get it? LOL)
I miss the silly political arguments between Flemish and Walloons, and how we all seem to forget that there is a third group involved in this discussion (Yes, my "germanophones" friends, I do remember you...)
I miss my friends, the ones that have known me for more than 30 years, the ones to whom I don't have to explain my twisted sense of humor, the ones who understand the excitement created in me when I find un "pain au chocolat" or how I still giggle when I quote an old French movie ("le fil vert sur le boutton vert...".)
I miss coffee..( No offense Starbucks, I still love you and always will, but in truth, there are times where I wish you could make something like this)


Funny how things that did not really matter to me in my twenties seem to really matter today...


It didn't matter then that my newly acquired American friends had trouble pronouncing my name . "Mireille" is not an easy "word" to pronounce for English speakers; I did not want to make them uncomfortable with endless corrections in pronunciation... This would only lead to uneasy feelings or lost moments... So I became "Mimi", and even used humor to justify it... I used to say that this transformation from "Mireille Lachi" (maiden name) to "Mimi Jones" (Married name), was finally providing me with a justification for a potential "multiple personality disorder." And as I immersed myself in American culture, watching movies (some of them really bad), and listening to music, so I could join the conversations and understand the quotes and references made around me, I slowly forgot about Mireille, moving forward with my "new" life.


Until recently... When I had some sort of an epiphany...


Maybe it was the cancer thing.. (Yes I am fine and doing well right now thanks)...
Maybe it was my "rebirth" as an educator (see my post "Who are you calling a sheep?")...
Maybe it's just a mid-life crisis (which seems to be the easy explanation that most people would embrace)... Apparently it is not a very popular thing to say out loud that "being a mother is not the greatest achievement of my life. It is in my top 3, but I refuse to be solely defined as a wife and a mother anymore.")That comment was really not well received at Bunco Night. Even though, when one on one, most ladies confided that they had similar feelings; I found out that it is not acceptable to say it out loud in society. My bad. Won't do that again... Or did I just do it again??? LOL 


I don't know.
I have no idea why, but all I can say is that my mind wanders. It seems to be searching high and low for "Mireille." 


As my self examination progressed, I was left to wonder.... Who is this guy??? This Henri-Frédéric Amiel???? Sounds French... and I have never even heard of him... I had to find out... So right away... I decided to research...  Funny story actually, I am now so used to reaching to my PLN  before even asking Google, that it' s what I did... Sent a couple of messages to my European connections (who in this case "failed" me... LOL.. I had to use Google after all)... 
What did I find you may ask???
Well the guy was a Swiss philosopher in the 19th century... Nothing Special you may say... Plenty of them right? Except that this guy left us with some true gems of wisdom... That I really feel should be more recognized and reflected upon... I guarantee you I will be reflecting on some of them, and I can only hope you'll join me in this "exchange of ideas"


Here are a few of the quotes that really resonated with me...


"Learn to limit yourself, to content yourself with some definite thing, and some definite work; dare to be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not and to believe in your own individuality."


"A man without passion is only a latent force, only a possibility, like a stone waiting for the blow from the iron to give forth sparks."


"I find myself regarding existence as though from beyond the tomb, from another world; all is strange to me; I am, as it were, outside my own body and individuality; I am depersonalized, detached, cut adrift. Is this madness?"


"The highest function of the teacher consists not so much in imparting knowledge as in stimulating the pupil in its love and pursuit. To know how to suggest is the art of teaching."


"The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides."


Happy Reflecting!!!!!!!